mandag 11. mai 2009

Option A, B or C?

When she was a little girl she couldn’t wait to be a grown up. She had this perhaps not so strange idea, as many children do, that as soon as she would be 18 years old she would be a grown up. She would know all the answers, the world being right there at her feet. 

However, she had her 18th birthday, a big party and life was all good. In hindsight, on the other hand, she realises that her world have never been as confusing as it was between that day an onwards the next ten years. On the outside she was a grown up, but on the inside of her so many things still had to grow – and some hadn’t even began growing yet! Gosh, it could be so confusing at frustrating at times! With the result of tears, frustration and anxiety among all the laughter! She began asking herself questions, some questions no-one really could have an answer to as it was up to her to find the answers. 

The moment she realised she was the one who had to find the answers, she asked herself more questions such as: did she really want to know the answers? 

For a long time she decided she was not ready. She decided not to ask certain questions before she knew deep inside exactly how she would respond to the particular answers. The truth. For several years she travelled the world. Some answers came naturally along the road, however the questions she in some confusing way also was running away from, kept coming back. As well as some of the answers pushed new questions ahead – would it never end? She thought she was a fully grown person, but that was only on the outside. She realised that life was a path which made her growing while walking it. One day she admitted that it was up to her very self, that it was her choice, how to deal with the answers. The truth. 

She decided that day that there were two paths she could choose between walking while finding the answers. A) she could either let the answers she found make her life miserable, sad and angry or B) she could grow on the answers she’d find and simply accept them as part of her past. As an explanation and a final ending to an evil circle - or there would also be an option C; simply not seeking answers at all! It was all up to her.

She realised as time passed by, as she was walking the sometimes bumpy road called life, that only a few years back, if she had kept asking the questions she’d might have chosen dealing with it through option A. However, she grew some more and her own common sense told her not to ask yet, as she had to be ready. That was five years back in time. At this hour, at this very second… at this very stage of her life, she had grown to believe she could deal with the answers. 

She asked the questions she feared the most. The answers were tough, they hurt…but she also realised, with a sigh of relief; that she could live with the answers, because deep inside she knew. She’d always known parts of it. With no hesitation, she decided to go for option B – she would simply accept the answers she’d got. She was a grown person now and knew from deep inside of her that even though the answers did hurt, it would not change the circumstances, what was past would stay in the past. She smiled at herself, choosing the path of option B she’d beat her worst fears and she would continue her life as it was now without changing anything. All she needed were some answers. Some sort of explanation. Oddly, she felt content about the words that had been told her. She felt an inner peace and knew she’d made the right choice at the right time. 

2 kommentarer:

  1. "She felt an inner peace and knew she’d made the right choice at the right time." I'm glad she did. I'm glad she found that inner peace. I believe she became stronger.

    I like your writings, Kelita,
    your view of Life
    in this world.

  2. Thank you so much e. Thanks for following myh blog...yeah, life is full of choices we have to make of all kinds...some tiny, rather insignificant ones such as what to have for dinner tomorrow, others more serious which could actually change your life...but what's imporant is not the choice in itself, but how one react to it. The person above needed some answers, and she got them...maybe they were not the answers she would have preferred to get, but she still felt okay about it. That's part of life, I guess...part of growing(up)...!